Hello all!
I'm not great about keeping up to date with all of this. Honestly though, I am really struggling with the beast of PTSD, anxiety, and my eating disorder. Insurance pending I may be heading off to treatment again. I had to quit my job and that was really hard because I loved doing that kind of work. I may have to withdraw from all of my classes.....AGAIN. This is so frustrating but it will be my last time. I hope insurance cooperates because this is my time. I am struggling with the patience to know that whatever happens, will happen. I can only do so much to try to influence that. In effort to calm myself down I decided to listen to some talks. Naturally, Heavenly Father provided me with the exact thing I needed to hear at that moment.
Soon I was listening to "An High Priest of Good Things to Come" a talk by Elder Jeffrey Holland from November 1999. Of course, I love all the talks done by Elder Holland, but this one spoke to my soul. I like the visual that God is with me every step of this journey, through all the hardships and triumphs. I will not perish forever. Also of note is the very soothing quote, "Don't give up. Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come." While at this moment it is hard to relive that feeling of comfort, it was awesome to feel at the time. I'm praying that I will find peace with what is to come.
I am actively trying to better myself despite the consequences and demons that are consuming me. I will try to do better with updating this blog too. Maybe even sharing it when the time comes. In the meantime, the wait continues!
-A.
