I'm not broken!

Today, I had a unique opportunity that doesn't come around very often. We had just completed our weekly reading for class which included a Ted Talk I know quite well by now. It's about the power of vulnerability by Brené Brown. Over the course of the last few years I have had the opportunity to hear and analyze the talk countless times, thanks to therapy and also being a Psychology major. I also have the fortune of having a psychologist as my mom, so now Brené Brown books can be found on the bookshelf. 😉 For my classmates, however, this was a new experience. During our mentor session we were encouraged to share a little bit about ourselves, and it went way deeper than our mentor anticipated. I felt compelled to tell some of my truth, and it has been great to not feel like I am hiding. Many people asked why I am taking a freshman class, or why I'm so old and still in a freshman class (easy now, I'm only 24!) Usually when asked, I say because I went into the military and then leave them to draw their own conclusions. The reality is, comparisons have been an ugly beast on my journey. I find shame in the fact that I'm still in school and it has been years since most of my original class has graduated, some even with their master's. I feel dumb because I took a different path, and it led me through some of the toughest obstacles I have ever experienced. I admitted this is the first term I am taking 8 credits and actually made it to the 4th week (and plan to finish) without having to withdraw, I haven't done this since before the military. The differences between now and then are amazing to me. I talk to people, heck, sometimes in class, I'm the first one to speak! I'm not broken anymore, maybe I never really was. My dear dad, the engineer that he is, was always rigging something up while I was growing up. We even fixed our futon with school glue one time. The point being that while sometimes it was not pretty, it was functional. I like to think that as a person, I'd prefer it be functional rather than it has to be perfect. I spent the greater part of the last 4 years rebuilding my life and repairing myself, and I am proud that these days, I'm a pretty functional human.